“I can't–Keshika”

Aashita took a step back as she tried to cover herself behind the curtain, Her eyes denying her but her drought heart wants it.

Colours

Keshika standing there with a plate of colours in her hand halted her steps maintaining the distance between them, all she wanted to colour her friend before her bath– four years had passed. The colour of white became part of her body, the misery became her sole emotion.

She misses the Aashita who loves to weave flower garlands–who loved colours, Who loved Love.

But it all tarnished like never existed

What could be worse is that the world you're dreaming is snatched from you to colour your white.

If not sati then Widow—never her choice, never her words.

she kept the plate aside making her way to Aashita who relaxed herself, Keshika couldn't help but embrace her friend as the tears pricked up in her eyes, She bit down sob but eventually let it go.

“A time when they both enjoyed colours seems like a dream that never destined”

“Why can't we be like we were before?”

Keshika asked, her words balanced themselves not to stutter, still in embrace of each other—Aashita caressed her back gently running her fingers through her hair.

“We can't Colours are curse and bald is ornament in cloth of white—it’s my identity now”

Aashita whispered, her lips quivered as if they don't want to accept the fate but now forced to.

“Kisi ke mar jane ke baad kisi ki vidhwa na kehlana ka hak kyu nhi hai hume—”

Keshika's words halted when her friend said something that made her swallow her own emotions.

“Stree ka jiwan phool ki tarah hai, ya toh shiv par arpan ya shav par samarpan”

“Suru se Shiv ki kamna karti hai chahti hai ki usse bholenath sa pati mile jiska naam parvati mata ki tarah samman se liya jae—par vo bhool jati hai ki brahmaand me ek hi shiv hai jo “devon ke dev hai” Tabhi poojniye hai, phir bhi vo aas rakhti hai par aakhir me usi aas ke saath sati ho jati hai ya savitri ka safed dharan karti hai”

[Woman's life is like a flower, either it is an offering to Shiva or a surrender to the dead body” “From the beginning she desires Shiva and wants to get a husband like Bholenath whose name should be taken with respect like Parvati Mata - but she forgets that there is only one Shiva in the universe who is the "God of Gods" and only then he is worshipped, still she keeps the hope but in the end she becomes Sati with that hope or wears the white veil of Savitri]

A beat of silence passed between them–they both stayed without words , without haste.

Keshika walked towards Aashita, gently taking interviewing hands with her. Her eyes filled with unsaid sorrow and concern.

“Hum bhi Nahi Khelenge Holi”

Keshika stated her words as if already planned to walk away from the things that seemed to be a dream like her friend, Aashita pulled her hand and rested on Keshika's shoulder.

[I too will not play Holi]

“You've too, Why would you leave something so beautiful for a white?”

Aashita’s words left like a question as if she's drenched in guilt, no one can see her heart clenched and turmoil in her stomach relaxes her.

“Vidhwa ho isliye nahi khelne ja rahe hai—jis dost ke saath bachpan me Holi khelna sikha tha uske bina vo rang bhi feka lagta hai”

Keshika said, her lips quivered, they're friends from a time where everyone took her as dramatic for showing her own true emotion, she was there to hear her tantrums, her cries and each of her fantasies.

[I am not going to play because I am a widow – without the friend with whom I learnt to play Holi in my childhood, even the colours seem dull]

“Tum itni ziddi kyu ho–Keshika!”

[Why you're so stubborn]

Aashita sighed as Keshika smiled and coloured her cheeks with yellow gulal, some Freckles of colour coloured her white attire as if finally painting a white canvas.

Aashita smiles, she can't win with her friend. She's a more stubborn version of her.

“Dekho Kitni Sundar lag rahi hai Aashita humari, kash tumhari mang ka Sindoor dubara laut aaye”

Keshika blabbered out something unexpected making Aashita stiff. She sat down on the floor as the winds lifted the light curtain up letting the earthy aroma fragnating the room.

“Dusri Barish me pehle ki tarah mitti ki tarah kaha khusboo hoti hai, Kesh”

Aashita whispered, her eyes focused on the window, clear rays of sun after the rain is always her favourite , the time when she use to drench herself in rain and then stand beneath pure Sunbliss after a bath.

[The second rain does not smell as fragrant as the soil did the first, Kesh]

Aashita slided her white veil down revealing her new hair adorning her head. She lost everything.

Someone else lost the life but she lost herself

“Saayad Dusri barish un logo ke liye thi jinhe pehli nahi bhenga saki”

[Second rain are for those, who were untouched by first]

Keshika said as she sat opposite to her friend, A soft smile adorned her facial expression–new hairs make her look beautiful like a Nymph.

“Vaise bhi shree krishna kehte hai ki prem ka koi anth nahi hai, Bas roop me antar hai”

[Anyway, Shri Krishna says that there is no end to love, there is only a difference in form]

Aashita felt a touch of something soft within her, A hope? She have to keep this feeling aside, A hope is something that will eventually bow in front of truth.

“Keshika tum holi khelne nahi aaogi?”

The silence vanishes as soon Sri walked inside the chamber with a smile, her anklet bells jingled with each of her steps making both the ladies stand up straight with smiles.

Sri eyes flicked to Keshika and halted at Aashita.

“Aacha toh yaha ka rang karyakram humare bina hi kar diya aap logo ne?Humara rang laga toh haq hai”

Sri smiled, her steps to Aashita to colour her and she did coloured her with yellow, it's her favourite colour.

“Bhagwan tumhe meri khushiyan bhi pradan kare, kab tak inn aasuo ka jeevan Jyotegi, hey Murali Manohar kripa kre”

[May God grant you my happiness too, how long will these tears last for you, O Murli Manohar, please bless her]

Sri prayed silently as Aashita bent to take blessings from her.

Sri smiled—today it looked different, a divine glow, Keshika noticed it but let her words silent.

“Tatha astu”

[Tathastu— is a Sanskrit phrase meaning "so be it" or "may it be so". It's often used as an affirmation or blessing]

As soon the words left her words, The temple bell rang and A loud Shankhnaad played from somewhere.

तुम्हारे घुंगराले बालो में सजा

वो मोर पंख बहुत खूब लागत है

𓍯𓂃𓂃𓂃𑁤🦢🪞🤍

“Kaha the tum dono hum tum dono ki Raah dekh rahe the—Bhala hum rang na lagaye Aashita ko?”

“Where were you both? I was waiting for you both – Shall I not apply color on Aashita?”

Keshika and Aashita both looked at Sri with surprised facial expression, didn't she herself came first and it already happened, maybe she's joking with them, Aashita had already took bath to remove the colours as per Sri instructions she have to shift “Thakur's mansion” to stay away from Pratap. He will definitely do something that might cause harm to Aashita in Keshika's absence.

But Keshika's mind is still fixed on the point that why Sri is joking around with them. But she's also happy that her elder sister did so many things for her, so her thoughts eventually subsided by the others.

◇──◆──◇──◆

THAKUR MANSION

Mustard oil gracefully crafted walls surrounded by flowers planted with each care and affection. Aashita whispered an “awe” while roaming aside the open corridor where wind makes her feel embraced. Even though this mansion has less furniture, the beauty wasn't disguised by it.

“Do you like it?”– Sri asked while handling a bunch of keys to Aashita and she nodded. Keshika smiled as her eyes smiled too. Sri always cared for her and Aashita like a mother.

She's so lucky to have them.

“I've appointed a lady cook and a Caretaker for you”— Sri said.

Aashita smiled while Keshika questioned, she wanted her friend to be safe.

“Who's the Caretaker by the way?”

—Keshika asked

“Aakshat Devanga”

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

सांवरे...

कैसे जादू है इन आँखों में

जो एक दफा इनको देखु

तो नज़रे ही न हटे मेरी

“Thakur's Mansion?”

Kiansh asked, lifting his head from the work he was doing at Akshat's Words.

He Never thought that his brother who's more interested in Wrestling and physical fights would agree on being a mansion's caretaker. Maybe he wants to achieve patience too!

“So Do you have to start your Duty from tomorrow?”

“Today”

Aakshat replied, making Kiansh’s brows knit together with confusion and unsaid revolt and he knows his brother wants him to be a participant of Holi too.

“Saayad aaj mere naam ke rang kisi aur ke liye hi sahi”— Akshat stated his words in a light laugh, his heart wants to play Holi but can't now.

He want to prove his mother

A sigh escaped from his lips as he embraced his brother, Kiansh let himself be pulled into the embrace of his brother. He knows his brother is hiding his pain behind those words.

He wants to know what happened between his mother and his brother.

“Jaaye?”

Aakshat asked while separating himself from his brother. He threatened his tears not to slip from his eyes and succeed. Slowly and slowly he stepped back like an embrace of a gentle quilt slip away.

Walking out from the house, he held his neck chain before praying again.

“Mere parivar par koi ach na aaye—Mahadev”

(Please protect my family lord shiva)

AUTHOR'S POV

Every alley of Banaras is painted with colours with playful calling out each other names and wishes. Varieties of Thandai and cruisins for all the people yet the Thakur's mansion remain silent only the steps of Akshat worked as a knock on wooden floor.

“Aap? Aap–Aap hi Akshat ji hai?”

(Are you Akshat?)

A soft voice barely a whisper of soft petal touched his ears like a symphony. His heart felt a noticeable beat in silence yet he heard. He turned around to find a woman in white her face veiled and body stiff.

A widow?

“Ji”— Aakshat, unable to message his brain, replied with a brain only weaving the words his lips left.

“Aapko iss ghar ka khayal rakhna hai, Malkini Sri ka bharosa hai aap par”

Aakshat heard one more female voice, this time bolder and louder than hers His eyes flicked at the new members, a Lady and a young girl.

He nodded

He will work here with his best

“She's Aashita—She’s our owner and I'm Devshree and she's my daughter Parvati, Here's the Gardener Murli

Devshree introduces everyone to Aakshat– Aashita looked at every conversation of them, even included in some. Somehow she felt that

Not everyone dies in society, some are still here–to understand what she's.

“ikai dhai sekda hajar—pure panch hazar hai”

[Sum up with 5000 Rupees]

Aakshat counted the currency with concentration not to miss any penny beneath. Carefully he distributed it amidst the other house workers equally. Aashita looked at him through her window.

“Didi humne aapko bola tha ki hume nahi khelni holi phir aap hume yaha kyu leki aai?”— Keshika said as she walked beside her sister towards the most crowded corner of Banaras where everyone is coloured by different colours.

(Why did you pulled me here when I already told you that I don't want to play Holi)

“Kyuki iske baad hum Calcutta jake kaha holi khel payenge?— Tum apni padhai me hogi aur hum apni naukri me”

(We will not able to play Holi in Calcutta, you'll get busy in your studies and I'll be busy in my job)

Sri replied as she fastened up her pace, Keshika noticed and did the same with a smile. Soon they heard the joyful noise of Holi and the beats of Tabla. Keshika breathes in the aroma of Organic flower colours, soon her simple cotton lehenga will be drenched in colour. She smiled holding her stomach to prevent turmoil as if can be, this will be her last joyful holi in Banaras.

–Here Kiansh was planning to throw a whole plate colour to his sister who cunningly drenched him in water. He carefully picked up the plate. He mixed his colour properly until felt a shadow behind him. He turned his face to look from his shoulder and found Saahithi (his sister) walking to the lake, He smiled mischievous.

(A/N:– Kiansh be Like it's Revenge time 💃🏻)

He walked through the passage of people carefully not to drop colour in mid. Everyone was lost in their own world in their own happiness. His grip on the colour plate tightened as he passed through the dancing people who were so lost in dancing that one one of them fell in the pond. Thank god! He did know how to swim.

Kiansh reached to his sister, who looked different from behind but he knew she's. He gently tapped her shoulder as soon she turned around he revolted the plate letting the gulal colour her at its brightest.

Keshika rubbed her eyes as she stepped back, Kiansh looked at her— as realisation sank in him after finding that the girl he thought to be his sister is not actually his sister but someone else's sister. Keshika rubbed her eyes again to get back her vision as she stepped back at the edge and unfortunately.

Splash

She fell into a pond, and Keshika tried to splash the water through her unpractised swimming practice. She tried not to drown herself until she heard a second splash before letting herself drown after failed practices.

People around them halted as everyone looked concern yet no one dared, Sri ran to pond after witnessing her sister drowning, her face etched with worry and pale panic she was about to jump until

Kiansh jumped in the pond as he swimmed faster to reach the drowning person, his breath ragged thinking he's the reason she fell in trouble. He dived in the water keeping other thoughts aside and found Keshika in a still struggling state, He carefully let his arm coil around her waist and other flapped in water to reach on the surface, and his hardwork earned the result. They both reached the surface. He tightened his grip on her not wanting to drown her again and swam to the corner stairs of the pond.

Everyone breathed out as Sri ran to them with a relieved face as she embraced Keshika who embraced her back with the cries. Kiansh felt a rush of guilt even though he was sorry and couldn't make himself satisfied that his carelessness caused someone to risk his life.

He looked away— Unable to hear the sobs.

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

The sun retired from his work as evening gently took over the sun letting everything soothe down with gentle breeze. Kiansh sat on his wooden stool but didn't have courage to weave anything. What happened today scared him. What if his carelessness caused a death.

He stood up and sat on the floor with body resting on the wall behind him with eyes closed. This started bothering him a lot. He needs to clear his mind before it overtakes his heart.

“Can I come in?”— Kiansh opened his eyes when he saw a Lady standing on the door frame. He stood up and placed a soft smile on his face.

“ji Bilkul”

He said again embracing the silence.

“You're a talented person! I mean look at these beautiful craftings”

Sri said as she walked inside the shop and her eyes never betrayed the admiration of Vintage designs he weaved in his heart out on each piece of cloth—her eyes halted at one piece of cloth work — peacock and star story. She smiled as she remembered something. Kiansh noticed how concentrated she's in admiring his work yet his heart filled with guilt from previous events.

Sri let out a breath after assuring that he didn't recognise her, maybe because he was in guilt and the atmosphere around them.

“I've something for you”

Sri said as she pulled out a letter from her jute bag making kiansh confused.

“Do read it–It’s for you”

Sri said as she smiled Divine as a butterfly before walking out from the shop, siding away the curtain she smiled looking at the person in front of her.

“Humne Devanga ko Patra pahucha diya hai”— Sri said as she smiled looking at the person in front of him in a turban.

“—Jo mera Aansh ho, Uss Kiansh ko Vansh ke naam ki kya zarurat”

[What need does that part of mine have to have the name of a dynasty]

Sri smiles as the evening falls, Kiansh opens the letter to be found awestruck.

𓍯𓂃𓂃𓂃🦢🪞🤍

"Toh sabki kahaniyo me khushiya kyu nhi hoti Aashita Didi?"

(Why not everyone has happiness in their story)

Paarvati asked her doe eyes fixed with Aashita who was now narrating a story to lil girl. Her hand rested on her knees eagerly waiting for an answer.

"Kahaniya Khushi dekh kar nhi kirdaaro ko dekh kar likhi jati hu aagar paasan ko muskurate ke saath swikar karo toh usme bhi bhagwaan ki aakriti dikhti hai"

(Stories are not written by looking at happiness but by looking at the characters. If you accept the stone with a smile, then you can see the image of God in it as well)

Aashita explained as she caressed paravati's head in a loving manner. Devshree serves plate of cruisin to Aakshat who's busy in hearing her words.

"Aagar Har paasan par Bhagwan dikhte toh sayad Raste ka kankar aaj kisi Dev ka shringar hota"

(If God could be seen on every stone then perhaps the pebbles on the road would be adornments of some deity today)

Akshat unknowingly said louder as he felt every eyes on him.

.

.

.

Thank you so much for Reading and Happy 6k for this book😭 whenever I want to write something bad happens to me idk why if my luck is bad.

Devnagri scripted Krishna Hindi lines

are credited to a Beautiful Reader who want to contribute her poems in this book. Thank you so much for your support 💖😭. Hindi lines in English are written by me and my last brain cells 💖💖💖.

Instagram:— Pallavilinkingwrites

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